How to Audit Wallets Like a CIA Operative
Before touching a project, I stalk its wallet history. Are devs dumping tokens pre-launch? Is liquidity locked by a 12-year-old’s TikTok handle? I once found a “blue-chip” DeFi protocol using a multi-sig wallet with keys held by a Cayman Islands shell company. Ran like the wind. Your checklist starts here: Who controls the money?
How to Spot Projects Built on Hype and Hot Air
White papers are ChatGPT fan fiction. Roadmaps are fairy tales. My rule? If a project hasn’t shipped code in 6 months, it’s dead. I grilled a metaverse coin’s “CTO” on their tech stack—he sent me a Minecraft screenshot. Checklist question: Does it exist beyond Telegram emojis?
Avoid SEC Handcuffs and Exit Scams
I check three boxes: Is the team doxxed? (No = red flag.) Are U.S. investors banned? (Yes = SEC bait.) Is the token listed on Coinbase? (No = liquidity risk.) When a “privacy coin” refused to name its founders, I smelled Interpol warrants. Checklist mantra: Anonymity is for rebels—and crooks.
Escape the ‘Rug Pull’ Death Zone
I don’t touch coins with under 50K sell can crater prices 40%. I test liquidity with a 20K became $3K overnight. Checklist rule: Always have an exit door.
How to Dissect Hype From Hell
I dig through a team’s tweets like a divorce lawyer. Found a CEO shilling a competitor’s coin weeks before his own launch. Another project’s “head of growth” was a recycled crypto bot. Checklist step: Are the humans real—or AI-generated husks?
How Much Can You Afford to Lose?
I write my max loss per trade on a sticky note—then tape it to my screen. For memecoins? 1% of portfolio. For Bitcoin? 5%. When Ethereum crashed 30% in a day, my note screamed: “You agreed to this pain. Hold or fold.” Checklist sanity check: What’s your “I’ll cry but survive” number?
Print This. Tape It To Your Monitor. Live It.
Crypto’s a minefield. This checklist is your metal detector. Omit one step? Enjoy your Darwin Award.
In crypto, the checklist isn’t a tool—it’s your lifeline.
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